Balance, Flow and Undertow

It’s been a quiet few months for me, having to focus on two new long term projects, I needed space to figure out how I was going to do that.

And a big process of adjusting to new circumstances for me is to cut out clutter and things that no longer serve me.

It took me a long time to admit the things that weren’t positive for me. It included resigning from the band I had been in for +7 months, resigning from a part time role, and cutting down on other lifestyle choices I wasn’t aware I had made! It’s amazing what slips by when you aren’t paying attention.

I don’t regret my decisions at all. Especially about letting go of  a corporate job to make way for more freelancing. That was definitely the right move.

In regards to band, that was a real tough one and I was fretting about it for months before I had to make a decision. The act of being part of a band, something unique and creative is an amazing feeling. And being surrounded by musicians who were all better players, helped me improve. I learnt so much from our live gigs and the lessons will stay with me for a long time.

But with all passion projects, it has to also feel right too. And things began to not feel right for me months before I called it in. I was lacking motivation to do the work the band music deserved, and that was not fair to them. So my decision to resign was based on multiple facts, not purely feelings. But feelings had to be my guide.

My concern was also that as soon as I’d given the band up, that would have been my last link to the music world (emotionally speaking). And I feared I’d just disappear into a black hole again. But actually the opposite was true.

You see, I was doing what I needed to do. Freelancing helps me with time flexibility so I can dedicate more time to music. That took a bit of time to settle in for all parties involved, and now I’m pleased that things are finding their groove, and slipping into a nice routine. The comfort that gives me allows me to worry less, and dedicate more brain space to music.

I surprised myself, when I sat down to write some new tunes. And this one just came out of nowhere:

Crazy to think that that can happen. I guess you’d call that a state of flow.

Then there’s an entire creative community out there! I attended my first CreativeMornings session, which was pretty cool.

I’ve got some lined up from APRA AMCOS, and MusicLove is pretty sweet too for the women in music. And lastly I got myself a coach (finally)!

So I don’t think I’m doing too badly really. I’m pretty excited.